Dealing With Loneliness
Individuals feel lonely for various reasons, including straightforward social ponderousness and purposeful confinement. A few people may even feel lonely when they are encompassed by individuals since they need significant associations with those individuals. Everybody encounters loneliness now and again, yet it is rarely pleasant. Managing loneliness can take numerous forms, including meeting new individuals, figuring out how to value your alone time, and reconnecting with your family. Continue reading to learn more about how to deal with loneliness.
Understanding Your Feelings of Loneliness
● Distinguish the reasons why you feel lonely. To make changes that will truly support you, you mustn’t stop trying to make sense of why you feel lonely. For instance, say you expect that you are lonely because you need more friends and you go out and make more friends. You may even still feel lonely after making new friends if your loneliness is the result of having too many friends and a lack of meaningful connections. Consider some of the following questions to assist you in determining why you are feeling lonely:
- When do you feel the most lonely?
- Do certain people make you feel more lonely when you are around them?
- How long have you been feeling this way?
- What does feeling lonely make you want to do?
● Start a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you understand your feelings of loneliness better and is also a great way to relieve stress. To begin journaling, choose a comfortable place and allocate about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts you may use include:
- “I feel lonely when… “
- “I feel lonely because… “
When did you first start feeling lonely? How long have you felt this way?
● Practice meditation. Some research has suggested that meditation may alleviate feelings associated with loneliness and depression. Meditation is also a great way to get more in touch with your feelings of loneliness and start to understand where they come from. Learning to meditate takes time, practice, and guidance, so your best bet is to find a meditation class in your area. If classes are not available in your area, you can also purchase online packages to help you learn to meditate.
To start meditation, find a quiet place and get comfortable. You can either sit in a chair or on a cushion on the floor with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. As you focus on your breathing, try not to get distracted by your thoughts. Just let them arise and pass by.
Without opening your eyes, observe your surroundings. Pay attention to how you feel as well. What do you hear? What do you smell? How do you feel? Physically? Emotionally?
● Consider talking to a therapist about how you have been feeling. It may be difficult to figure out why you feel lonely and how to move past those feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you understand and work through your loneliness. Feeling lonely may indicate that you are depressed or that you have another underlying mental health condition. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action. Please take this advice seriously and take action today.
Encouraging Yourself
● Understand that you aren’t alone. Loneliness is a normal part of being human, but it can make you feel like you are abnormal. Reach out to a friend or family member and talk to that person about how you are feeling. As you confide in someone about your feelings, you can also ask if they have had these feelings too. This process of reaching out and sharing with someone will help you see that you are not alone.
Try saying something like, “Lately, I have been feeling lonely and I wondered if you have ever felt this way too.”
If you don’t have a friend or family member to talk to, reach out to a therapist, or counselor.
● Move forward. Don’t get stuck in the feeling of loneliness. Instead of dwelling on how alone you feel, do things to take your mind off of your loneliness. Go for a walk, ride your bike, or read a book. Explore activities and hobbies, and don’t be afraid to try new things. Having experiences gives you a basis upon which you can comment in more social situations (thus talk to more people) and start up conversations that will interest others.
● Keep yourself busy. Having downtime is what allows feelings of loneliness to creep in. Devote yourself fully to work or extracurricular activities.
● Engage in social activities by yourself. If you don’t have someone to go out with all the time, don’t let that stop you from going out and having fun. For example, if you want to go out to dinner or a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or a nice restaurant. Although, at first, it may seem awkward to do things by yourself that you might normally do with someone else, don’t hold yourself back. It is not unusual to be by yourself and out doing things! When you remember why you did these things before, you can enjoy the activity itself again.
Take a book, magazine, or journal with you if you go out to eat or have coffee alone, so you’ll be occupied when you would normally be talking. Remember that people do go out by themselves intentionally just to have “personal” time alone; it is not as though people will see you sitting alone and assume you have no friends.
It may take some time to get used to the feeling of being alone outside. Don’t give up if your first few tries feel a little awkward.
● Consider getting a pet. If you’re truly struggling without companionship, consider adopting a dog or cat from your local animal shelter. Pets have been domestic companions for centuries for a reason, and earning the trust and love of an animal can be a deeply rewarding experience.
Be a responsible pet owner. Make sure your pet is spayed or neutered, and only commit to bringing a pet into your life if you’re prepared to handle the daily responsibilities of caring for it.
Getting Social Again
● Engage in activities. To make new friends, you need to get out and participate in things. Consider joining a sports team, taking a class, or volunteering within your community. If you are extremely shy, find a group for social anxiety, even if it has to be online. Look on places like Craigslist, Meetup, or local news websites for activities in your area.
Don’t attend functions with the sole idea of making friends or meeting people. Try to go without any expectations at all and to enjoy yourself regardless of what happens. Look for activities that interest you and that also involve groups of people like book clubs, church groups, political campaigns, concerts, and art exhibits.
● Challenge yourself to take the initiative in social interactions. Making new friends often requires you to step up and invite others out to do things. Don’t wait for people to approach you: you must approach them. Ask if they want to chat or grab a coffee. You should always show interest in others before they will show interest in you.
● Be yourself as you try to make new friends. Don’t try to impress another person by misrepresenting yourself. That may lead to the end of the new friendship before it even starts.
● Be a good listener. Pay close attention when people are talking. It is important to be able to respond to what the person has just said to show that you were listening or they may feel like you don’t care.
● Spend time with your family. Trying to build up connections with your family may also help you to stop feeling so lonely. Even if you don’t have a great history with a family member, you can still try to mend relationships by starting with an invitation. For example, you could ask a relative that you haven’t seen in a while to go on a short outing or meet you for coffee.
When trying to rebuild or strengthen your connections with family members, you can use some of the same strategies you would use to gain new friends. Take the initiative and ask the person out, be yourself, and be a good listener.
● Be a pleasant presence. Draw people toward yourself by providing enjoyable company. Be complimentary rather than critical. For a casual remark, don’t critique others’ clothes, habits, or hair. They don’t need to be reminded they have a small stain on their shirt when they can’t do anything about it. They do need to hear that you think their sweater is cool or you like their personality. Don’t overdo it, but just casually mention it when you like something. This is one of the best ice-breakers around and it builds trust over time as people come to understand that you won’t criticize them.
● Join an online community. Sometimes connecting with people online can be easier than connecting with them in person, but remember that online interaction is not a perfect substitute for face-to-face connections. However, sometimes online communities can be valuable avenues for you to share your thoughts and experiences, or ask questions to those who are going through similar situations. Online forums can help you to support others while being supported yourself. But make sure to be safe when online. Not everyone is who they say they are and predators feed off loneliness.
Making the Most of Your Solitude
● Distinguish between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is when you are sad to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. There is nothing wrong with solitude, wanting to, or enjoying being alone. Alone time can be beneficial and enjoyable.
● Work on developing yourself and fulfilling yourself. Often, when we’re devoting most of our time to others, we tend to neglect ourselves. If you’re going through a period of loneliness, take advantage of it by doing the things that you want to do for yourself. This is a great opportunity and you deserve to be happy! ■
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